the slog

working like a dog on this english course. 100% Japanese "young adults" (i.e., university students) in both morning and afternoon classes. not a single chatty spaniard, not a single confident german, not a single cheeky russian. all painfully polite, silent, uncomprehending japanese. on a speaking and listening course.

i was not told this beforehand (neither the "all japanese" part nor the "speaking-and-listening" part).

i've discovered i HATE motivating people. i'm good at helping people do something they already want to do, but i SUCK at motivating unmotivated people. my morning group is picking up some confidence and starting to talk so i can hear them, instead of mumbling into their hands at a rate of three very carefully chosen words per minute. but my afternoon group is still a bunch of slugs, and they just want to go somewhere else between 1:30 and 3:30 in the afternoons. i only have to see them twice more, though, so it's ok, i think. sigh.

i can hardly blame them. after 3 hours of reaching down students' throats and slowly pulling words out, i'm pretty beat as well by lunchtime as well.

this whole experience has reminded me with great and powerful force that i really don't like teaching anymore. it eats me up and makes me anxious. not sleeping, not feeling well, not able to relax. i've got to find a new profession. arrggghhh!!!

but only 6 more teaching days to go, then it's back to normal life.

and vacation in 2, count em, TWO short weeks!